1. You look so skinny! Which juice
cleanse are you on?
2. All-you-can-eat oysters was probably a bad idea.
3. How are you going to keep all this
weight off when you get better?
4. Isn’t that what Pepto-Bismol is for?
5. You know that one
scene in “Bridesmaids”? I laughed so hard I almost puked.
6. Should I order the lasagna or the
nachos? Maybe I’ll get both.
know what I never get sick of? Rice and water.
8. Did someone order egg salad? It smells like a sulfur mine in here!
9. I’m going on a coffee run, who’s in?
10. Do you want the rest of my carnitas
burrito? It’s got extra sour cream.
11. I can’t remember the last time I
12. What’d you eat? Was it raw?
had the driest tuna salad earlier. It really needed another big glob of
mayonnaise in it.
14. I know the stomach flu sucks, but
you’re going to lose so much weight. Really you’re lucky!
15. I never tell anyone I have the
stomach flu because, really, who wants to say they have diarrhea?