1. Stamp Collecting.
One minute you’re tacking the new limited edition Bea Arthur stamp into your acid-free binder and the next you’re leaning out your window looking at a bug, the clouds, and – oh look! An airplane!
2. Driving a Car.
You never know when you might pass a 7-11, suddenly get an urge for a Slurpee and pull an abrupt U-turn in the middle of the highway.
3. Going to a Child’s Piano Recital.
Lucy might be your favorite niece, but you’d rather get up and talk to the guy operating the spotlight to see if you can make shadow puppets across the stage.
4. Taking a Lie Detector Test.
Because even though you really want to answer the questions truthfully, the little needle bounces every time you say something and you wonder if you can get it to draw a mountain range if you keep lying.
5. Playing Chess.
It takes you two seconds to move your pawn, but your buddy takes like nine hours to do anything, and the queen makes a really nice, sharp object to poke him with.
6. Reading a Long Book.
After ten pages you suddenly realize that those pages could be used to make origami, and next thing you know you’re surrounded by paper swans.
7. Playing Hide and Seek.
You found the perfect hiding spot in the closet, but you also found an old air horn on a shelf in there and decided to see if it still works.
8. Listening to Someone Describe a Dream.
Your husband’s dream about fighting Chuck Norris is cool and all, but it’s more important to demonstrate your ability to do jump kicks right now.
9. Getting Pulled Over By the Police.
You don’t want a speeding ticket, but the officer is really boring and you notice that his name is Hudson and you went to school with a kid named Hudson – are they related? He kinda looks like Hudson. Wait, did he just ask me to step out of the car?
10. Watching Politics on TV.
Even though you care about current events, CNN is so boring and all they talk about is, “Blah blah blah Egypt,” so you decide to make a pyramid out of couch cushions.
11. Doing the Dishes.
Your wife asked you to clean up the kitchen but then you notice that if you squeeze the bottle of dish soap, bubbles shoot out and float through the air! They’re so shiny and beautiful, it’s imperative you catch one. Dishes can wait.
12. Putting Together Ikea Furniture.
Because even though you need a new table, it comes in a million pieces and the directions are confusing, so you just stick it all together as fast as you can and throw away all the extra pieces.
13. Watching Baseball on TV.
Because even though it’s “America’s pastime,” the players just seem to wander around scratching their butts, and then you notice someone in the stands eating a hotdog and come to think of it, a Red Hot would really hit the spot right about now.
14. Taking ADHD Medication.
The medication helps you focus, but the pills inside those plastic bottles make awesome maracas and it’s fun to pretend that you’re in a mariachi band.
15. Sitting in Class.
The Pythagorean theorem is important, but there are shiny cars driving by the window and you get so distracted that when the professor calls on you, you respond with “Moby Dick.”
16. Falling Asleep.
You can hear your alarm clock ticking and you wonder how it keeps time so perfectly, so you pull it apart but can’t put it back together, and now you don’t have a working alarm so there’s no sense in sleeping.
17. Going to a Museum.
There are priceless works of art and it’s really important to make sure that Van Gogh is securely fastened to the wall, so you try to pull it off and then all of a sudden you’re under arrest.
18. Organizing Your Closet.
Your clothes currently live in a pile on the floor, but so what? It’s more fun to try to put on all of your shirts and pants at once than it is to hang them up.
19. Watching a British Movie.
Even though the movie won an Oscar, everyone sounds like a pretentious butler, which makes you want to spend two hours looking at Grumpy Cat memes instead.
20. Playing Golf.
You need to schmooze with your boss, but it’s a lot more fun to start an impromptu game of capture the flag by snatching the pin out of the hole and running away with it as fast as you can.
21. Giving a Eulogy.
Even though you loved your Uncle Ted, when you try to tell a story about summers at his lake house, you also remember this one time you saw fish jumping out of the water and how do fish breathe anyhow?
22. Finishing a Crossword Puzzle.
Even though a quiet Sunday in bed with The New York Times sounds nice, it’s a lot more fun to fill in those little boxes with funny words and obscenities.
23. Writing This List.
Even though you can think of a million tasks that are difficult to do when you have ADHD, you hear a sound outside your window and maybe it was a coyote!? Do coyotes even live in Delaware?