When we talk about sex, there are many qusetions we can talk. It is common that sometimes you hear on the news about weird medical conditions that actually cause more sex than normal. But these conditions are kind of like eating at Taco Bell. It may sound awesome in theory, but personal experience may leave you with internal bleeding.
Priapus was a Greek fertility god known for his excellent quiche and the fact he was sporting a two-foot boner all the time. When eternal two-foot boners fell out of fashion, they gave the god’s name to the medical condition priapism, which is wood that just won’t quit.
This is considered one of those “good problems” in a culture where erectile dysfunction ranks a notch above “terror attack” on most men’s Panic Scale. This is why the “herbal Viagra” industry dominates email spam. Millions of men think having their groin turned into a pube enshrouded temple of awesome for hours at a time would accomplish most of their life goals.
Commonly referred to as nymphomania by Internet perverts and perverts who still eschew technology but like the idea just the same; hypersexuality is what happens when your libido cranks the dial to 11 and leaves it there.
Frat guys throughout history have fantasized about dating a “total nympho,” thinking they’ll wind up with a special lady friend with a sex drive that rivals a three dicked hummingbird on E. It’s been the subject of more Penthouse letters than can possibly be counted.
This is kind of like sleep walking, only instead of taking a leisurely stroll down to the kitchen and pouring yourself a glass of milk, you sleep fuck. So nothing like sleep walking, other than the fact you’re not awake and therefore don’t realize how awesome what you’re doing is. With this condition you don’t even need to be awake to be a sex god. You can get in your seven hours of beauty sleep and still keep your partner in awe of your prowess.
A paraphilia is kind of like an OCD sexual fantasy, which isn’t to say you want to have sex and wash your hands three times while watching People’s Court; rather you’re hit with about a six month frenzy of intense sexual fantasies and urges based upon a specific act or fetish. Six months of all encompassing fantasies involving life-size cutouts of a Swedish bikini team and a turkey baster? How bad could that be?
The condition is experienced by a very small portion of the population, and of those the vast majority are male. We’d like to pretend to be shocked by that fact, but really who are we kidding?
5.Permanent Sexual Arousal Syndrome
Only recently documented, this condition can result in a near constant state of arousal for every waking moment of your day. So you’re just really, really horny, right? As long as you keep a bottle of water or two handy to prevent you from withering away to a sticky husk, it doesn’t really sound so bad at all.